Got Lyme!

To take my health and my high pain threshold for granted was a big mistake. For the past nine months, my body has fallen apart in many ways. It all began in April 2013.
I was on a short business trip to Europe, and life was good. Since my friends were taking Zumba, I decided to give it a try. It was so much fun, that I took the class again. But after the third class, I woke up at my friends' really tired and with a very high fever and strong headache.
After spending the day inside and resting all day, that night became hallucination-land!
I couldn't sleep, and the fever made me see all sorts of characters in the room with me.
In the morning I went to the doctor, and after a long examination, he said I had everything like the flu, without the flu... (Only doctors can come up with something like that).
After 3 days in bed with fever and headache, advil and aspirin 3 times a day, I got better and returned to NYC!
Attending the premiere of "The Sneaky Boa Brothers" was great and flying the next day to Mexico City to teach a 5 days dance workshop in "Ryver Dance Studios" with around 150 students.
That week was excellent, I danced 7 hours a day, and felt great. Tired yes, but great. The Saturday before departure, I woke up in the hotel room with a light fever, and the same knee pain I had the week before in Europe. More to it, it felt like my knees were encased in plaster and it was challenging to bend them.
All I thought was that after 5 days of teaching, I was a little tired, nothing serious. I returned home and all went well.
For the longest time, I've had a yeast on my skin and it looks like little red or brown islands on my torso. When 3 weeks earlier I had noticed a 3 inches spot under my belly button, I only thought that the yeast had found a better place to develop, and I treated the area the same way I treat my torso.
July was a busy month, as I was finishing the editing and the last version of SNOW, my first feature film. Apart from being tired and a little depressed, I woke up in the middle of the night, with a strong pain to my right elbow and my neck and middle back. Again, I only thought it was me getting old and something I had done in my weekly dance classes.
In any case, I did see a wonderful chiropractor, who fixed me every week til September.
The pain would go away for a day or two, but returned, slightly stronger each time.

By September, people around me speculated that it was the fact that I teach dance twice a week, or that I ride my motorcycle to work (300 miles a week on average).
Well, it was time for a vacation, and off I went to France and Italy for almost 3 weeks, and where I didn't dance nor ride a motorcycle. In fact all I did was eat and visit museums.
The pain continued as if I was working out every day.

I returned home and after a one week cruise for my birthday at the end of October, I began to be extremely depressed. Sad, dissatisfied, crying most days and night, not wanting to live, not seeing any light around me. And for November and December, it was coupled with new pains in the hands, the feet and by then, I couldn't bend my knees and had to change some of the exercises in my class, to be able to demonstrate them to my loyal students.
Of course, more speculations were shared by people around me: "you're getting old," "It's arthritis," "you need a break, you work too much."
It's true I tend to overwork myself, and I always cease the day as if it was the last, but I know my limits and I have my days (Rarely) where I do nothing and watch movies all day.

2014 started with a lot of snow, and bound me to stay home. On the 5th, I went on another cruise (My roommate is awesome and always invites with him ;0) and that's when things went nuts.

On Explorer with the cruise director and staff - Awesome people!

The first 3 days were okay, I was still in pain, but was able to move around and even dance (Through the pain...Only dancers can do that). On the 4th day, I woke up with so much pain, I could barely walk and forget about dancing. The bottom of my feet, my knees, my middle back, my shoulders, my right elbow, my hands and my neck felt as if they were connected to an electroshock and randomly sent me charges. It was not fun, I couldn't sleep, sit, walk...
A woman I had met at the Zumba class saw me sitting at one of the cafe, eating a granola bar, and asked me what was going on? I explained to her that my body wasn't right and that I would go to the hospital as soon as we were on land. After describing my symptoms, she said to make sure to get tested for Lyme desease, as it is common to have only one joint affected.

Reading and researching info on Lyme.

Last tuesday, I drove myself to the emergency room, and explained why I was there. Before I could say anything, the man said it sounded like Lyme.
A few minutes later, a nurse cam and asked me what was wrong. I explained. She said it sounded like Lyme desease. Finally the doctor comes, and after looking at me (In my underwear), and listening to my problems, she said it sounded like Lyme.
Now, you should know that I don't have Health Insurance, so I asked what my options where:
1 - The hospital no longer does the Lyme desease test, as it is followed up by a doctor. The option is to go to an infectious desease specialist and get treated there. (NOT happening, too expensive...)
2 - Go to a rheumatologist  as it might not be Lyme, but if it is, he could treat it. (NOT happening, even more expensive)
3 - Get a prescription as if we knew I have Lyme and treat like that. (HAPPENING).

So I left with a prescription of 4 weeks of antibiotics and anti inflammatory medication without being tested. How wonderful to be a human in 2014.
Luckily the internet is full of resources and many of my friends had Lyme, so after spending hours on the phone and reading hundreds of blogs and such, I am treating myself.

I managed to get an appointment at the free clinic, on the 27th, and I will make sure they do blood work and xrays of my neck and back.
This is what I've done this week (WEEK 1)
- Antibiotics (3 a day Amoxicillin 500mg)
- Anti inflammatory (1 to 2 a day Naproxen) Sometimes I don't even take them.
- Vitamin supplement (One a day - Generic brand)
- Glucosamine (1 s day - Also generic)
- NO sugar (I miss my muffin and nutella in the morning)
- NO honey, maple syrup, agave (It's still sugar...)
- NO coffee (Tough too)
- NO bread, pizza, wheat.
- Lentils, beans, carrots.
- Garlic (1 head a day - I always eat garlic, so it's easy for me)
- Flax seed (1/4 cup a day - in my salad, soup...)
- Hot tea (Green, detox, anything to cleanse)
- Hot tub bath {103 degree helps breaking the biofilm protecting the bacterias} (Lucky to have a roommate with a hot tub, I know)

I miss Nutella!

That's all so far, but after 1 week of this, I actually feel a bit better. I'm trying to find homeopathy remedies from my European friends, and more supplements to take, but trying to keep it a very low budget. (Yeah I ain't got no money).
At this point, I still don't know if I have Lyme or not, but til I'm certain, I'll continue the treatment.
I miss teaching dance and talking to my wonderful students, I miss the city, I miss my acting classes, and I miss Nutella. But I feel better and hope to get ready to go soon.
Thank you for reading and remember that you are beautiful.

Sleeping Beauty by Matthew Bourne.

Recently I helped a dear friend with her website. To thank me for my time, she offered me to see the Matthew Bourne Sleeping Beauty at City Center in NYC. 15 years ago I remember loving his all male version of Swan Lake, not so much because it was all male, but simply for the originality in the interpretation, and for the solid vision throughout the piece.

Yesterday was the night we had agreed upon to see this extremely publicized version of Sleeping Beauty. With posters announcing a Gothic Tale, I was expecting "Interview with a Vampire" on stage.
You should know that I'm very familiar with Sleeping Beauty, as not only I've seen many ballet versions over the last 20+ years, but also, back in 2003, I was presenting my New York City third season of Saba Dance Theater, and it was no less than my own Sleeping Beauty.
So when the music began and the story unfolded, I was a little surprised by the bareness of the stage and the simplicity of the costumes. In Bourne's Swan Lake, the bare stage looked like a design choice, but in Sleeping Beauty, it looked like a lack of funds.
As a professional dancer I was told by the great Pearl Lang, that modern dance went against the repetitive of ballet by surprising the audience with sudden changes of directions, levels, speed, none of which happened on stage last night.
In Bourne's Sleeping Beauty, the dancers look misused and despite their great talent, are doing movements that a high school production could surpass.
Let's be clear, the dancers were fantastic. I just didn't think the choreography was good or interesting.
The highlight of the show was a baby puppet, and to my surprise, the puppeteers were not invited to the bows at the end of the show.
Am I harsh? I don't think so. I've given a great deal of my time to making costumes, choreographing, rehearsing and dancing to know, that this show is far from doing what Swan Lake has done. In fact, Sleeping Beauty looks as if it had been choreographed by a different person.
Some of the twists in Bourne's version were interesting and I appreciated the shorter version of the Tchaikovsky score, but I would not call it Gothic. A little black around the eyes of the dancers, some lace and candles doesn't turn a tame show into a Gothic show.
Whoever worked on this production was probably blinded by the craze of the publicity they received, and they couldn't speak their minds about the things they didn't like.
In any case, this is only my opinion and I'd love to talk to you if you see the show and absolutely love it.
Have a great day and keep dancing to celebrate life.

If you want a spoiler about the story, and a happier review to this show, read the New York Times' or any review really, as I seem to be the only person who didn't like the show.

Italy.

For the past few years, every time I came to France for "Vacation," I ended up working all day sorting things in my father's house and working with lawyers and such official people, resulting on a return to the States, totally exhausted and depressed. But this time...It's different.
I arrived in France September 5th, and though I did have a few meetings with officials, I didn't tell many people I was here, and therefore have been having a great time.
I'm staying half in Antibes at my old friend and professor of University, and the other half in Biot, at dear friends of mine.
Since April, I have been talking to a friend in Nice, about going to Italy and returning to my favorite city in the world, "Florence" (Firenze... I know, but...).

Saba and Freddo on the Duomo in Florence, Italy - 2013

So last Friday morning, Freddo and I left by car at 4AM, from Nice, in the French Riviera, and we drove a short 8 hours to Rome in Italy, and arrived around noon, perfect time to get our first Italian lunch. When in Italy, one must eat pasta and pizza, nothing else. Well, unless you're a carnivorus, in that case you must eat Italian meat and cold cuts.

My four days trip = 900 miles by car. I loved it!

One reason for me to return to Rome after many years, was that I always refused to visit the Vatican and give money to an already overly rich group of people, but my need to see the Sistine Chapel, took over my stubbornness, and after a speed walking through the museum, Freddo and I arrived in the chapel.
Within seconds, my brain changed its settings, and the hundreds of tourists around me, Freddo included, disappeared, to allow me to dive and swim along the paintings covering ceiling and walls alike. Here I was imagining the long, lonely hours, Michelangelo spent painting the ceiling, deprived of reason, good lighting and company. The voice on a microphone, yelling "Silence" took me out of my thoughts, but I still spent a long hour admiring the chapel.
Rome was also the Coliseum, the Trevi Fountain, the Piazza Navona and many more incredible buildings and monuments around this incredible city.
Sunday morning, departure at 8AM, direction Florence. By 10.30AM, we were dropping our bags to our Pension, and left to our first coffee. I always drink too much coffee when in Italy and France, because they really know how to make it.
My absolute favorite place in the city, is the Fontana del Porcellino, a bronze statue of a boar, spitting a thin amount of water.

Saba at the Fontana Del Porcellino - Florence, Italy - 2013

Lunch was at the Porcellino restaurant for an authentic pasta dish.
Upon arrival, I found a jewelry store, selling beautiful rings of animal heads and other fancy designs. Finding one with a pirate skull in silver, I married Florence in an instant. (Florence was the name of the first girl I kissed, the French way...).
Between Sunday and Monday, Freddo and I visited the Acadamia with the authentic David, the Duomo of the cathedral, the Campanile (Bell tower), the Ponte Vecchio, and a long list of tiny streets and place around town.

Saba in front of the Ponte Vecchio, Florence, Italy - 2013

As we were about to leave, we returned to the jewelry store where I bought my skull ring to meet the owner and creator (Patrick Wandaël, French man living in Florence for the past 35 years), what a great man. Though we went there for a quick hello and goodbye, we spent over an hour and a half talking about jewels, art, dance, olive trees, Florence, France, America, life the way it should be. Eventually we said goodbye, and though I was tempted to purchase at least another few rings, I didn't as I promised to return just for that.
While entering our new direction to the GPS, someone knocked on my window, and here was Patrick holding a ring representing the Porcellino Fountain, telling me that now, I would have a great way to remember Florence.

Saba's rings from Patrick Wandaël Design, Florence, Italy

I was already in love with the fountain and the city, but now it's official, I'm married to it.
Thank you Patrick, for being such an extraordinary man, who follows his heart, and lives his life the way everyone should.
I am back in Antibes now, and during my morning walk at the beach this morning, I was going over my own life, and decided that I, too, should live my life the way I want it to be lived.
Thanks for reading and remember to live well.

Travels...

I can't believe it's already September...I am sitting in my friend's living room in Antibes, South of France, French Riviera to be more precise, and I'm enjoying a nice little vacation.
Arrived Wednesday morning, and I will return to NYC on the 25th, it's time for me to slow down and relax a bit.
For the past four years, since my father passed away, every time I came back to France, I always had some paperwork, and unpleasant things to do at the house, such as throwing away things that belonged to my dad. But this time, I'm here without any agenda, and will go along with what life will bring me.
Yesterday, I drove with 3 friends to Bordighera in Italy, just to have lunch... Best lunch ever, Italians know their food.

Saba in Bordighera, Italy.

When I returned to Antibes, I picked tomatoes and eggplants that are cooking as I write, and will be eaten tonight.
This morning, I went for my first morning walk at the beach. Totally empty, it was myself and maybe ten people spread over 2 miles. FABULOUS!!!

Saba in Antibes, France.

The only other plan I have, is to drive to Florence and Rome, next weekend.
It's so strange to not have to refer to my calendar every hour, and to just take the time needed to live a good life. I need to do this more when I'm in NYC. Gotta go eat soon.
Have a good day, and remember that you are beautiful.

Saba's feet, getting wet.

International Indie Gathering Film Festival.

From August 16th to 18th, I attended the 18th International Indie Gathering Film Festival in Hudson, Ohio. http://theindiegathering.com/
This year I won the an award for my feature screenplay "About A Week" in the comedy-drama category. Last year the directors of the festival had asked me to be in the Acting panel at the lecture, and I was fortunate to be aside the great Robert Z-Dar and shared some very special moments and had a lot of laughs.
When Kristina Michelle, one of the producers, asked me to be in the acting panel again, the screenwriting panel (since I won this year as a writer), and the directing panel I jumped on the opportunity. If you know personally, you know how much I like to talk about my passion. But the true reason I take these opportunity, is because, as a long time teacher, I know that you re-learn what you teach. And being in these panels, and having to inspire young film makers, has revived my flame even more.
Sitting along the great actor Joe Estevez, and director Gary Jones and other incredible talented individuals, I realized that regardless of what you've done in your career, we're all in the same boat.
Joe Estevez said: "Be positive...20 years ago, I change my mindset and noticed the changes in my career." Gary Jones, who was showing "Axe Giant," and in addition to his priceless contribution to the directing panel, spent hours chatting with me in the lobby of the festival.
People have said that I'm a passionate person, and seeing and listening to Gary Jones, made me feel good to see that he was as passionate as I am.
Talking about passion, last year I was approached by a charming woman, who introduced her 17 year old son and sought advice for college. We connected, exchanged numbers, talked a few times over the phone and emails, and upon my return this year, her son, Ryan Colegrove came to me and we basically spent most of the time watching the same movies, and attending the same lectures.
Ryan, who enters Columbia Chicago as a director, had to projects in the festivals, and won first place in each category.
After the Award ceremony, Ryan, his mom and I, spent another 4 hours chatting and realizing how much we had in common. What a treat it is to meet beautiful people, who share your passion.
Next year I'm gonna submit SNOW, and probably a bunch of other things.
Saturday morning I attended the monologue competition, and I took the 2nd place in my category. Not bad, but this was more for me to experiment this particular monologue. It was fun, and was glad to be a part of the competition.
Since we sent SNOW to 18 Film Festivals around the world, let's see what comes next.

Remember, you are beautiful and life is beautiful.

A FRENCH GUY NAMED SABA on Youtube!

Today, my dear friend and roommate Keith is celebrating his 50th birthday. So for a year now, I've been thinking of all the things I could buy, which totaled to a very short list, as I am a real starving and struggling actor.
When it comes to gifts, I could go for a DVD, an Amazon card, a CD maybe... A dildo, but then again how to choose the right size, it's delicate, this type of item has no return policy, so I decided to keep thinking.
What is it that would make it unique, special, and priceless. PRICELESS is the word everyone likes when it comes to a gift.
Now, I might be poor, meaning I've got no money.... But I'm the richest person on earth when it comes to creativity. My mind never stops, I sleep very little every night, and spend hours thinking about what I could do to make life a better life.
Back in January, Keith noticed that I was getting better at playing the guitar, since I was practicing for my feature film SNOW. I was playing Lola from the movie, when I joked about learning and playing "Don't stop believing" from Journey and play the song for his birthday.
I looked online and found chords, youtube tutorials, covers by all kind of singers, but I was too busy and put the song on the backburner, as SNOW was my only priority at the time.
A few weeks ago, I realized we were approaching Keith's birthday. My finance are at the worst they've been in a long time, so forget about the DVD and other cheap items... No, I had to come up with a plan.
SNOW was finished end of July, and for it, I had to cut a trailer using Adobe Premiere Pro software to edit. While doing that, I realized I knew the program quite well, since for the past 3 years I spent countless hours sitting with my editor, watching him use the program.
AND THEN, it happened... I was looking on youtube at "Don't stop believing" performed by Journey and was really impressed by how high his voice was, and then, right there on the right, I see a cover by a very good singer who uses split screen and sings all the voices and instruments.
That was it.
I had found the GIFT, and I was gonna make a video.
Next thing you know, is find a title, paperwork, twitter, design title, and here we go.
A FRENCH GUY NAMED SABA celebrates life and birthdays around the world.
So when you don't know what to buy, or what to give, make something as simple as filming yourself delivering a beautiful message of love for life.
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, and because YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.

17 years in the USA!

August 4th 1996, I came to the big apple for a 2 weeks dance workshop at the Martha Graham School. After a week, they offered a full scholarship to shape me into a Graham dancer in the hope I could join the Company. 17 years later I'm still in the USA and feel more American as time goes by.
At 24, I was already a workaholic and had achieved quite a lot in France, but here's 17 things I've achieved here.
1 - I learned English.
When I came, all I knew to say was: "One coffee please, thank you" (Read it with the thickest French accent you can imagine, and double it...).

2 - I became a Graham dancer and for five gorgeous years performed with the Martha Graham Dance Ensemble in over 30 States.

3 - As a dancer, I performed in the Pearl Lang Dance Theater, The Sophie Maslow Dance Theater and other less prestigious dance company, and that made me the dancer I am today.

4 - I became a faculty at The Martha Graham Dance School, Peridance Capezio Center, Ballet Arts, American Dance and Drama, PMT Studios, taught for 3 years at SUNY Purchase. I also offered modern dance workshop at Hotchkiss CT, UNICAMP Brazil, RYVERDANCE Mexico, Williamsport PA, among other exotic destinations.

5 - In 2001, during the biggest crisis I had experienced so far, I created the Saba Dance Theater.

6 - With my dance company, I created 5 New York Seasons, including "The Four Seasons" winner of the Best Performance in 2004 at the Bessie Awards.

Saba as the sun - THE FOUR SEASONS - 2004 Photo by Erico Narita

7 - Got my name in most major publications, including a full page in the Sunday Art section of the NYTimes, for my show called "3."

8 - From the press received in New York, I was invited by the famous photographer Lois Greenfield to do a photoshoot of my creations.

Rachel Sattler, Saba and Tomoko Muneto - 2005©Lois Greenfiled

9 - 3 of my Lois Greenfiled pictures have been used in her calendars, and even to represent her work in a NYC photo exhibition.

10 - I got a GREENCARD! Which in the words of the American immigration means that I am "Exceptionally talented." Whatever that means.

11 - In 2006 I realized I had a problem with alcohol, and joined a program of recovery, and I've been sober since March that year. This I consider my biggest achievement of all.

12 - I moved to Trenton, NJ. If you think that was easy, think again. Most people around me at the time thought I was crazy. It's been a wonderful experience.

13 - In 2010, I created Cloudy Sky Films, my own film production company.

14 - I wrote, produced, directed and starred in my first webseries: SHERRY'S KITCHEN. This felt like going to college, majoring in filmmaking, but concentrate the program of 4 years into 1.

Saba as Sherry Cordial in Sherry's Kitchen, Ep 5

15 - I joined SAG (Actors union), and am now able to make tons of money for a day's work.

16 - In 2012, I won my first 2 awards in film making for ABOUT A WEEK, a short film adapted fro the feature screenplay that, in 2013, won an award as well.

17 - In July 2013, a week before my anniversary, I complete my first feature film, SNOW. I wrote, produced, directed and starred in it, like in most of my productions.

So here you go. If you still reading, you'll know that there's no way of knowing what the future holds for you. But one thing for sure, is that what happen to me, happened, because I made it happen. Along the way, I made friends with incredible people, I lost some friends, and I lost people that I loved so much. That's life.
Thank you for these wonderful years. If you're reading this, you are a part of my life, and I love you for it.